Sometimes I have this strong desire to write, but don’t know what to write about. I sit at my desk, open my computer or notebook, get a blank page ready and stare at it in a glazed look. The words seem so ready to come out. The thoughts, the dreams, the possibilities seem to dance at the tip of my fingers, but they insist on not making the jump to the blank pages that are so ready to receive them.
As I sit here in front of my office window, the day is cloudy and rainy, a change from the hot summer days we’ve been having. The rain drops slap the green leaves of the lilac tree now empty of flowers. The sound and smell of rain awaken my senses. Or perhaps lulle them to a quiet that I need. A soft cooler wind enters the open windows and kisses my arms and face. I can see and hear the little birds who have come to the feeder for lunch. House finches, common sparrows, chickadees, and the occasional gold finch, fill the space outside with cute little chirps. I imagine they are little sounds of gratitude for the food so readily available to them. Most times it’s easier for me to spend my time watching them than to turn again to my blank pages and fill them with words.
Life is a constant struggle for balance between what we want to do and the many distractions that envelop us every day, perhaps every moment. How many stories have I personally not written because of the funny short videos on instagram? How many times have I forgone my desire to live healthy because of the delicious looking junk food inside the pretty box displayed in the store? How many distractions have I used to lead my focus away from my goals to my default life which I know is not what I want?
Life is not easy.
And yet that abundant life promised in the Bible is a simple decision away. A decision to follow more, to give up independence, and to focus on what’s truly important, or maybe Who’s truly important. To release the internal struggle for more and always falling short, of not being or doing enough. To place my life, my dreams, my goals, and my plans, in the hands of the One who holds my very own life.
It’s nice and calm in the realm of dependence on God. There’s peace there. It’s worry free. He’s got me! He’s got you.
And He fulfills the desires of my heart, like my desire to write, even if at first I didn’t know what to write about.